The Devil’s Advocate, serving you a cocktail of humour, wit and sarcasm
Zeenat Aman, a celebrated figure in Bollywood’s golden era, opened a can of worms recently by advocating and endorsing live-in relationships for Indians in India. Renowned for her iconic roles in films like “Hare Rama Hare Krishna”, Zeenat has long been hailed as a symbol of sensuality and beauty in Indian cinema. Her role in movies such as “Sathyam Shivam Sundaram” set many a man’s heart flutter!
In a candid Instagram post, she hailed live-in relationships as the “ultimate test” for couples. She emphasized the importance of cohabitation before marriage, citing it as a practical means to assess compatibility. Zeenat shared her personal belief, encouraging individuals to evaluate their readiness for commitment beyond romanticized notions, tackling issues like sharing living space, navigating disagreements, and sustaining intimacy.
She said, “One of you asked me about relationship advice in the comments section of my last post. Here’s a personal opinion I haven’t previously shared—if you’re in a relationship, I strongly recommend that you live together before getting married! This is the same advice I’ve always given my sons, both of whom have had, or are in, a live-in relationship. It just seems logical to me that before two people get their families and the government involved in their equation, they first put their relationship to the ultimate test. It’s easy to be the best version of yourself for a few hours a day. But can you share a bathroom? Weather the storm of a bad mood? Agree on what to eat for dinner every night? Keep the fire alive in the bedroom? Work through the million tiny conflicts that inevitably arise between two people in close proximity? In short—are you actually compatible?”
With a personal history marked by multiple relationships and two marriages, Zeenat’s commentary on this culturally sensitive topic carries weight. However, her own marital experiences, which ended in divorce, add complexity to her perspective.
Her views evoked criticism from fellow Bollywood veterans Mumtaz and Saira Banu. Mumtaz, in a sharp rebuke, cautioned Zeenat against advocating for practices conflicting with societal norms, questioning her newfound social media prominence. Similarly, Saira Banu expressed her disapproval, rejecting the notion of live-in relationships as unacceptable.
In an interview with Zoom, Mumtaz asked Zeenat Aman to be “careful” and suggested that she’s trying to be a “cool aunty.” Mumtaz said, “She has all of a sudden come into this huge social media popularity, and I can understand her excitement about sounding like a cool aunty. But giving advice that is counter to our moral values is not the solution to increasing your following. She knew Mazhar Khan for years before marrying him. Her marriage was a living hell. She should be the last person doling out advice on relationships.”
Close on the heels of Mumtaz’s admonition, Saira Banu has said, ‘I cannot agree with this statement. I would never advocate for live-in relationships like that. It’s something unimaginable and unacceptable for me.’
Joining the discourse, actor Mukesh Khanna echoed traditional sentiments, asserting that live-in relationships are alien to Indian cultural ethos, echoing concerns about Western influence.
He said, “Live-in relationships are not recognised in our culture and history. It has come from Western civilisation. Whatever Zeenat Aman is talking about, she has lived her life according to Western civilisation”.
Bollywood is a cesspit of debauchery rife with affairs, divorces, scandals, drugs, sex, alcohol, corruption, mafia violence, etc. Should someone from Bollywood be setting the moral grounds for the Indian society at large?
Wanting to know a woman’s perspective on this hot potato topic, I decided to draw my acquaintance Xena into the conversation. Xena is a born feminist, who is hell bent upon smashing patriarchy. She is on her fifth live-in relationship and would be the best person to be standing in judgement on this issue.
Xena staunchly defended live-in arrangements as empowering choices for women. Xena said, “I totally support live-in relationship before marriage, but it is not for everyone. Only women who are empowered, feminists, financially independent and liberated can engage in this because they can afford to walk out of the relationship any time they want, at the drop of a hat. Women who are doormats to patriarchy and serve it by performing Indian wifely duties such as Karva Chauth, cooking & washing etc will be trapped in it.”
She went on. “We live in the “try before you buy” economy. Don’t we try out clothes in the fitting rooms before we buy them? Don’t we sample food in a buffet before we tuck into the stuff we like? Don’t we go on a wine tasting tour to know the best wines? So, what’s wrong with live-in arrangements?”
She shared some of her live-in experiences. “My first live-in did not work out because he would snore loudly in bed; the second live-in guy was a good catch. He would do all the housework but wanted me to cook at least once a week. Imagine that! How dare a man tell a woman to step into the kitchen? If I had married him, he would have chained me to the kitchen sink for life. My third live-in was no good in the sack. Thank God I got rid of him double quick. The fourth live-in started talking about having kids in the very first month ignoring my woman rights to climb career ladders and hunt in the corporate concrete jungles. This was a Neanderthal man who still viewed women as gatherers, ignorant of the falling fertility rates worldwide due to women not wanting to have babies! I’m having trouble with my current live-in because he caught me having a one-night stand last week and is objecting to it. What’s his problem? “My body. My choice” right? I’ll be dumping him in a couple of days”.
I was a bit concerned with Xena’s rapid pace in going through the live-in relationship revolving door. “Slow down, Xena. No live-in arrangement or marriage will be perfect. Even marriages after the live-in periods have ended in divorces. Zeenat Aman is an excellent example of this”.
Xena just shrugged her shoulders and said, “I’ll keep going until I get what I want. This is the mark of women empowerment & liberation. We need to be a progressive community, like in the West, and not be stuck in old Indian traditions, as remarked by Zeenat Aman”.
Live-in relationship, while legal in India, and on the increase, remains a topic of ambiguity in terms of legal recognition and societal acceptance. The increasing prevalence of such arrangements reflects evolving attitudes toward relationships in contemporary Indian society, which is attempting to mirror its Western counterpart, where de facto relationships are common.
As societal norms continue to shift, discussions around de facto relationships prompt reconsideration of traditional views on marriage and commitment. The prospect of registering such unions under the Uniform Civil Code signals a growing acknowledgment of diverse relationship dynamics within legal frameworks.
The discourse surrounding de facto relationships underscores the evolving landscape of modern romance in India, challenging conventional notions of love, commitment, and partnership and the very institution of marriage.
The days when Indian parents would plead with their kids, like Zeenat Aman, & say the following, may not be too far off. “Why are you rushing into the marriage, beta? Don’t you want to try living together for a while to make sure that you guys are compatible? Ashok’s arranged marriage is facing divorce despite the matching horoscopes”.
Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author.
Support independent community journalism. Support The Indian Sun.
Follow The Indian Sun on Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
Zeenat Aman advocates live-in relationships, sparking debate. Xena, a feminist, defends them, highlighting women's empowerment. Bollywood's moral authority questioned amid cultural shifts by Bhushan Salunke. 🎬💑💥♀️💔 #TheIndianSun #DevilsAdvocatehttps://t.co/kjBR1HLAG4
— The Indian Sun (@The_Indian_Sun) April 25, 2024
Donate To The Indian Sun
Dear Reader,The Indian Sun is an independent organisation committed to community journalism. We have, through the years, been able to reach a wide audience especially with the growth of social media, where we also have a strong presence. With platforms such as YouTube videos, we have been able to engage in different forms of storytelling. However, the past few years, like many media organisations around the world, it has not been an easy path. We have a greater challenge. We believe community journalism is very important for a multicultural country like Australia. We’re not able to do everything, but we aim for some of the most interesting stories and journalism of quality. We call upon readers like you to support us and make any contribution. Do make a DONATION NOW so we can continue with the volume and quality journalism that we are able to practice.
Thank you for your support.
Best wishes,
Team The Indian Sun
